Confession Tuesday

This is a juicy one.

I was not meant to be a church planter. I’m not wired to want to leave comforts and start things from scratch. I like safe. I like comfortable. I dislike change. I don’t feel like an entrepeneur. I was just not meant to be a church planter.

Funny thing is, in 5 days I will be an official church planter. Well, wife of a church planter, which feels so much better. While most people are excited, anticipating, and hopeful, I’m nervous, fearful, and ok, a little excited. I have so many “what if” questions that roam around my noggin. Questions that I will not speak out loud. But they are doozies. Luckily, I’m married to the most grounded, level-headed, calm, wise, faithfilled man on the planet. He is my rock. He is always there to talk me down off the ledge. He always points me to the Father. He always points me to scripture. He points me to the path that has led us to this very time and then I remember…..and lets be honest, a few days later I’ve forgotten and need to be reminded again. Yeah, that’s me.

But in all reality I AM excited. I can’t wait to see Restore join hands with the community of believers who have been helping people find their way back to God for years. I can’t wait to hear the stories of life change as a result of people finding their way back to God. I can’t wait to see how the spiritual landscape of Kansas City will be changed as a result of starting this church.

And I know that when it comes to me, God is more concerned with how this will change me, than me seeing change in others. Cause that is his M.O. He is more concerned with our relationship with Him than what we do for Him. That is comforting, isn’t it?

So I say this to You, my God :

My whole life is yours

Surrendered to your name

Forever I will say

Have your way, Have your way


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