March 31, 2010

There is so much to learn during this process of starting a church.  Because of my natural tendency to worry and fret (so so sinful, I know) I have to check myself a lot. I have to take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to what I know to be true. I want to soak in all that God is doing through me during this. I want to be changed as a result of what I am learning. I want to resemble a real woman of God who is strong and filled with faith and wisdom. I’m so far from that right now.

But I deeply desire to be who He has designed me to be. I want to sprint to it. But I know it’s a marathon. Patience.

Not to get all hyper-spiritual but I can see the enemy trying so hard to bring us down. The whole staff. The staff at Park Hill. The leaders. The enemy of our souls does not want for people to find their way back to God. And he is on the attack. Pray for us. Pray specifically for Joey and Erica as they are walking through the hardest thing a human being can experience. Pray specifically for the O’Connell family as they walk through an illness that will change the way they do life.

I was reading from the reading plan in our leadership journal the other day in Joshua. Joshua has led the Israelites to victory. He is recounting all the things they have been through to get to this point. That day I needed peace and God spoke to me through the words of Joshua 23:3

the LORD your God is He who has been fighting for you.

And again in Joshua 23:10

for the LORD your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you.

11“So take diligent heed to yourselves to love the LORD your God.

And His instruction to us is in Joshua 23:8

8“But you are to cling to the LORD your God, as you have done to this day

God is on our side. Let me say that again. The God of the universe is on our side. He is fighting for us. Helping us endure. And what He wants from us is to cling to Him.

I, for one, am hanging onto Him for dear life.

Terrific Tuesday

March 30, 2010

Confession.  Welp, it has been a busy 2 weeks. A little thing like starting a church. Let me tell you it’s not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot. And I mean a lot of work. I felt insanely busy and I hardly did anything. My husband is a machine. And the people, well the people are who this post is about.

I don’t know how to express my gratitude for all of the volunteers that helped to make Restore happen. So many people have put so much time, prayer, money and sweat equity into this endeavor. It baffles and amazes me. If I could pay all of them I would. If I could take them all on a lavish vacation I would. Alas, that isn’t an option. So what I do is pray. I pray for blessing and favor on all of the people connected to this church. I pray that God would be pleased. I pray that each person would feel the weight of what their contribution has done. Someone has found their way back to God as a result of your efforts. And that is worth more money, vacations, or trophies that man can give!

So thank you. thank you. thank you.

And guess what, we get to do this again in a few more days.

Here is a short video of our first Sunday. Enjoy.

Confession Tuesday

March 16, 2010

This is a juicy one.

I was not meant to be a church planter. I’m not wired to want to leave comforts and start things from scratch. I like safe. I like comfortable. I dislike change. I don’t feel like an entrepeneur. I was just not meant to be a church planter.

Funny thing is, in 5 days I will be an official church planter. Well, wife of a church planter, which feels so much better. While most people are excited, anticipating, and hopeful, I’m nervous, fearful, and ok, a little excited. I have so many “what if” questions that roam around my noggin. Questions that I will not speak out loud. But they are doozies. Luckily, I’m married to the most grounded, level-headed, calm, wise, faithfilled man on the planet. He is my rock. He is always there to talk me down off the ledge. He always points me to the Father. He always points me to scripture. He points me to the path that has led us to this very time and then I remember…..and lets be honest, a few days later I’ve forgotten and need to be reminded again. Yeah, that’s me.

But in all reality I AM excited. I can’t wait to see Restore join hands with the community of believers who have been helping people find their way back to God for years. I can’t wait to hear the stories of life change as a result of people finding their way back to God. I can’t wait to see how the spiritual landscape of Kansas City will be changed as a result of starting this church.

And I know that when it comes to me, God is more concerned with how this will change me, than me seeing change in others. Cause that is his M.O. He is more concerned with our relationship with Him than what we do for Him. That is comforting, isn’t it?

So I say this to You, my God :

My whole life is yours

Surrendered to your name

Forever I will say

Have your way, Have your way

The funniest thing to me

March 11, 2010

is when people laugh when they are not supposed to. I LOVE IT.

I love gag reels at the end of dvds.

I love when news people or the people on SNL crack up when they are supposed to deliver lines.

I love it when you are sitting in church or chapel in college and you are laughing so hard you snort.

Just anytime you are supposed to be serious and you can’t contain yourself, I LOVE THAT.

Today a co-worker and I had a moment like that and I laughed so hard my abs hurt.

I love those moments. I cherish good, laughing so hard you can’t breath and your face is beet red, moments.

More please.

AI girls

March 10, 2010

Alright, now, the judges of american idol said that this is the best talent year ever. i’m not seeing it. there are a few gems…but they are not impressing me just yet.

I don’t know the names of the people at this point but my favorite girl so far is the young blonde tall curly haired girl. she isn’t choosing the right songs but as far as voices go, she has the best. 2nd is the dreadlock girl, she has raw talent but she doesn’t seem happy which makes me sad. A side note from the girls, Nate likes the red haired girl. He said he thinks his hair looks like hers! Ha!

The judges this year are annoying me. First they want people to be orginal and change up the music and then when the contestants do it, they say its too much. I love Simon but he just seems like he has checked out already.

Thats my run down for today.

Thoughts at 12:30 am

March 10, 2010

It is after midnight and I just got done watching the movie “Children of Men.” I’m not sure why, but I loved this movie. It was dark but I had seen so many end of the world movies yet never seen one like this. I was nervous watching it even tonight and I knew the ending. It was just so good.

On a related but different topic….I found out today that there is an actual doomsday seed storage facility somewhere in the world. They (whoever they are) have built a place that houses millions of varieties of seeds from all over the world for the sole purpose of providing food and plants should a cataclysmic event happen that wipes everything out ie: “The Road.” True story, I read it on the internet.

And for some odd reason, that comforts me.

On that note, good night.


March 9, 2010

Today isn’t a juicy confession. Sorry to disappoint. I couldn’t think of a juicy one.

But I am over intrigued with music/song writing. I listen to a song and I think about all its parts, the words, the drums, the guitar riffs. And I’m usually thinking “how did they come up with that?” “did the words come first or the melody?” “did they start just jamming and decide they wanted it to sound like this?”  For instance, when Joey ad-libs with the piano (or as he says “tickles the keys”) or DJ uses the ebow to enhance the song, or Tommy writes a song from scratch, I am so impressed. If you ask Nate, he will confirm that if I find a song I am really really into, I’ll make him listen to it, the whole thing, and he can’t be on his iphone or computer but I want him to appreciate what I am hearing.

I don’t have this gift. I don’t get melodies in my head. But I am utterly amazed by the people who do. I don’t view myself as creative. If you hand me a blank page I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I do, however, like to call myself “quality control” because if you hand me a page full of things, I can add or take away things that, in my opinion, would make it better. I need a jumping off point.

So yeah, I like music a little too much…just not gifted enough to create it. And most people don’t listen to parts of a song like I do. So don’t be surprised when you come to our house, chances are there will be music playing all the time. That is my non-juicy confession for this Tuesday.