I’ve worked since I got out of college. Even when I was a “stay at home mom” I worked 3 mornings a week at the bux. I used to feel like I had lost myself when I stayed at home all the time. I was bored. I had no life but with Ethan and Abbey. All I did was clean, cook and discipline. There were days I felt like I had not had a civilized conversation with an adult.
I now work full-time. I have worked my way up the latter rather quickly. I think its my winning personality. I kid.
Anyway, I enjoy making money. To me there is a false security in it. Its weird because I am not a spender. I don’t buy things. I just like to have a cushion. Now that I’m in my new role. I miss being at home. I feel so guilty that I am gone all the time. I have no energy for the kids when I get home. My house is a mess. I never cook anymore.
God has blessed us with this job. It is allowing us to be at Restore helping people find their way back to God. I know it is his provision. I just miss being at home. I miss cleaning my house. I miss cooking for my family.
I have found that it is hard to be content in the circumstance that you are in. It requires discipline. First I was bored being at home. Now I’m guilty I’m so busy and would love to be back at home. God tells us that whatever circumstance we find ourselves in be content. I’ve found this to be a challenge but I am trying to master it.
Words can’t express how thankful, and grateful I am to God for his provision. He knows exactly what we need and provides a way. Its NEVER the way I would choose. But it is so unbelievably cool that He orchestrates it!