I think “economy” is a swear word.
I was watching something the other day and they were talking about people’s needs. People need to feel like people see them. Not just with their eyes but to really see them. I totally get that. Haven’t you ever felt like you were walking around the world being invisible? I have. You want to wave your arms around saying “hey, look over here, I have something to say, something to offer, see me.” Its kindof like when John Eldrige says that boys want to be told and to feel like “they have what it takes.” And girls want to feel like they are “captivating.” I identify with that. Even at 32 years old, I want to be captivating.
I want my children to grow up with the sense that I see them. They have what it takes and they are captivating. I want them to have confidence and not to hold back on anything that their minds can dream up. I think I didn’t know this as a teenager and as a college student and even now and I missed out on things because of that.
I think that is why I enjoy deep conversations about who people really are and what they really want/think, their motivations. I want to “see” people. I think I will make it my mission in life to make people feel like they are “seen” by me. I’m not sure how I will do it. But I’m gonna try.
I was presented with a choice that would affect everything. Its not an easy one. They never ever are for me. If only God would send me an email or a facebook message that tells me what He wants me to do. I’ve asked Him to do that for years but He never does. I am hoping for a miracle that will make my decision a no brainer.
On a a completely different topic, Restore was great today. I love being apart of this church.
And another topic, I saw an 11 year old play his guitar the other night and I realized I was jealous of him. Sick. I know. I have issues. I thought he was going to show me his 2 chords that he knew and then he pulled out his electric and started playing Stairway to Heaven and Sweet Child of Mine. I have been playing for months and still can’t get the strings to stop buzzing. Its just not fair. So I tried to recruit him for the worship team. So he’s 11 who cares, he rocks!
We took a few days and went to my homeland this past weekend. I love Chicagoland. I love Naperville. It was freezing but worth it. We always try and cram so much on a trip home. We saw good friends, had family parties, ate at our favorite resturants.
Whenever I go home I can’t help but remember some really great times I had there as a teenager. I’ll drive by my high school and remember singing the national anthem at sporting events, or where I went sleding with a bunch of friends until the wee hours of the night. My job at the coffee shop in 5th avenue station. There are just so many to list. Its fun to have those memories.
I don’t like leaving. That place is filled with people who love me and who I love. They give me a sense of security knowing that the love is abounding and unconditional for me and my family. They truly care about my family and are truly interested in us. When you are with family you aren’t invisible. Its such a good feeling that you don’t want to leave. I don’t know, maybe that makes me needy. Its just nice to be home. I love you guys!
Nothing says good television like a triple cross.
And Simon is back tomorrow.
Glee. Pure Glee.
My son has always had an active imagination. Too smart for his own good. He has loved Larry boy for years. Larry Boy was his imaginary friend that he would talk to, etc. But he has moved on from Larry boy. Which makes us sad. He now loves Indiana Jones. Funny thing is, he has never seen the Indiana Jones movies. Not a one. It would be too scary for him and too much violence. He has, however played the Indiana Jones lego video game. That is his point of refrence.
So for Christmas he got Indiana Jones legos and the lego video game. He spends hours puting the legos together. And now he wants to act out scenes from the game instead of playing the game. He has a scarf as a whip, a sachel and has asked us for a fedora…yes he even uses the word “fedora.” We are improvising with a brown hat of Nate’s. When we got back from our small group last night, Sara the babysitter said that she was made to be the boulder that was chasing Indiana around the house (the boulder consisted of a bunch of blankets rolled up). Abbey is usually the princess in the story and does whatever Indiana says.
I love his imagination.
Yep, I do them every year. And I fail every year. But a new year gives me hope for better things to come. A fresh start. So here goes:
-Get healthy by exercising and eating right.
-Hear from God more. Listen harder.
-Learn to play the guitar so I can lead a song.
-Have more fun. I feel like all I do is work which makes me sad and I need more fun days with my family and friends.
-Trust, have faith, believe the impossible and consider it pure joy to face the days ahead.
There you have it.