Yesterday, we announced that we are leaving Faith Assembly of God to pursue a dream that God gave us years ago in Bible College. We will be going with a team of people to plant a reproducing church in Kansas City, MO where Nate was born and raised. We went through a rigorous church planting assessment process and they determined we were mentally, emotionally, and capably fit to plant a church. (I was actually praying they would say we sucked…cause it would be so much easier!)
I really believe its hard to determine Gods’ exact will for our lives. I have been going round and round with Him lately. Asking to show us a burning bush-type sign that we are doing the right thing. Because to be perfectly honest….this is a huge huge stretch for us. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to leave a great church, a consistent salary, a dream home, the beach, a ministry that we worked hard to build, a denomination that we believe in, did i say consistent salary??? Why? I didn’t get an email from Him. He didn’t text me. There was no snail mail. What He did, was put a dream in our hearts, and then provided an opportunity. But why does it have to be so hard? Why can’t there be someone who says…”Nate and Jill, we want to pay your salary until your church gets off the ground.” You see, I have these fears…real fears that we move there and my job at starbucks doesn’t pay the bills and that we have to live with Nates mom (Lord help me!) and that Nate has to get a minimum wage job because all he’s ever done was be a pastor and that we have to work opposite shifts in order to take care of the kids and we don’t ever see each-other and our marriage goes down the tubes and we don’t have time to do the ministry that we moved there in the first place for…..Yeah, my fears are real and audacious. Why?
…Last night I was having a serious conversation with God. Pretty much telling Him that I was scared to death of this life changing move. I told Him that I needed a burning bush-type sign. No burning bush appeared. I then read a devotional about Peter and how when he stepped out of the boat he was fine…until He took his eyes off Jesus. He noticed the wind and the waves. He got worried about them. His fears were real and became audacious. I was then talking to my mom and she told me of the same passage of scripture. She told me when nothing seems to make sense (like walking on water or having no salary), keeping my eyes focused on Him is what I need to do. Even when I doubt Him, I need to look at His character. He loves, He cares, He provides, He protects, He saves, He rescues. It was no burning bush…but it was the spark I needed for today.
Why? Well because there are people in Kansas City that need to know this God. The one who loves, cares, provides, protects, saves and rescues. These people need to know Him. To be restored. And so I am counting the cost. Stepping out of the boat. To help the restoration begin.
Please pray for our family. Pray specifically that we sell our house at the right time. Pray that we raise the funds needed for this adventure. Pray that the people of Kansas City will find their way back to God. Pray that my eyes remained focused on Him!