Needing a Yes

Sometimes you get so many “no’s” in a situation that it seems impossible to think it is meant to be. 

If there is a “Yes”, I need it to be in bright neon lights. Because even if it is just one yes, I can hold on to it. 

Otherwise, it would seem logical to think the doors are shut. Right? I’m not in the habit of kicking in closed doors. For peace of mind, I need to feel like things are not being forced. 

Am I the only one who feels this way? 

I need a yes. Even if it is just one yes. I want it to be a big one.

Plans

I like to have a plan for everything. I feel unsettled when things are not planned out. I don’t like to feel unsettled. I’ve decided that when you live a life of service to God, nothing can be planned. Because you step out in faith, you “chase the goose.” I wonder, if I will ever get used to it or even enjoy the process. 

I have wanted to plan out my particular future for my whole life. It has never gone according to my plan. So then I get afraid to make any sort of decision for fear that its not in the divine plan. I’m a mess, really. 

So right now, among the 30 other things I am wrestling with, I am trying to decide what my next step is. Do I continue on with this starbucks thing and become a store manager. I enjoy the work but hate that I’m away from my family and any sort of ministry. Do I continue to work full-time and bring in a paycheck. Or do I persue another dream of mine that I’m not particularly prepared for but would also love to do? I envy the people who hear very clearly from God about what their next step should be. 

Luckily some of the pressure is off of me. Because my God says : “For I know the plans I have for you.” That gives me so much peace. Now if only I could get Him to send me those plans!! Its an adventure for sure.

Series

So churches do “series” these days which just means that they take a time frame and talk about one subject. I love this concept. I never remember having “series” in church as a kid. I guess the only thing that came close to a series was when there was a revival meeting. 

Anywho, my husband used to have some really great series at Transit. Anyone remember “Road Trip” or “Intervention” and who can forget “Clutch” (the video to that one was the best!)

But I think the best series are yet to come at Restore. “Chasing the Almighty” was probably the best sermon series on money I have ever heard. And coming up we are talking about “Tough Times.” Who doesn’t need to hear about that?

So come to Restore on Sunday. Hear the band rock out covering the Fray. Hear Troy talk about tough times and what that means for our lives.

Instant Coffee

This coffee master never ever EVER thought I would see the day when my beloved company sold instand coffee. But we are. Wave of the future or complete mistake? I don’t think we can know just yet. 

I did a taste test today and it wasn’t bad. Nothing like a french press, but if I were in the space shuttle and needed some coffee I would reach for the siren. For sure.

Reality TV Recap

I’m not sure what is going on with the Bachelor. I would have chosen Jillian. Not because I like her name but she seemed cool. I’ve decided that I do NOT want to get sucked in to this show next season. Its just ridiculous. These women are making fools of themselves over one man. Its just weird. He’s not that great, they never are. But whenever I watch the previews for next weeks show I feel anxious. I mean, Deanna is coming back. They say its going to be the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER….every time. But I get sucked in every time. 

I’m sad they kicked that one guy with the cheek peircing off of American Idol. He was actually good. And they kept the annoying girl. So weird. We shall see. 

Is it weird to be eating a piece of cake while watching the biggest loser? Its almost like I feel like just by watching them workout I’m burning some calories. Not so. I know, I need help. I’m rooting for the Tongan guys. They are fun. I would like to be friends with Bob the trainer. He makes me laugh.

So this isn’t reality TV but I’ve almost decided, almost, that I can’t be  good friends with you if you don’t like 30 rock. That might be a bit harsh but I just don’t think we would have the same humor. I mean, Nate and I laugh out loud at that show. We rewind funny parts to laugh at them again. Ok, I embrace diversity so I’ll give you a chance if you don’t like it. 

Thats all for now.

Thoughts

Lately I’ve been thinking…ok because I’m so sinful, worrying…about our housing situation. We have this gorgeous house in South Carolina that we own. We are renting it out right now and I actually hope it is still gorgeous. The lease is up soon and we have some huge decisons that have to be made. We are renting this townhouse because it is close to park hill where our church meets. We need to get our family to Liberty as soon as possible. We need our house in South Carolina to sell because all of our money is in it.  We’ve lived in more places than I care to admit and I think its time to give some stability to our family. And that is why I don’t want to go and rent a place in Liberty and then later on buy another. I’d like to move there plant ourselves and help people find their way back to God. My heart breaks for Ethan knowing he will have to get used to a new school but its not the end of the world as long as its not over and over again. 

So the problem is that we don’t have the money to pay our mortgage and our rent here. So if our house doesn’t sell in a month or two we would have some serious issues. Sure we could try and rent it again but then where does that leave us? Do we stay here in the Park Hill district and leave Liberty for later?  It is like mental gymnastics. I’m telling you. I hope I stick the landing. 

We are singing a song a sunday that speaks to my need to rely on God. He is the God who provides. I believe He has provided for our every need thus far even though it is not the path I would have chosen. I believe in miracles. How awesome would it be for us to say that we sold our house in one of the worst housing crisis we’ve had? So pray with me. Pray that Nate and I will make the right decisions. That God would direct our every step. The only reason we are going through this is because we have given ourselves to serving Him and doing His work. I’m believing for a miracle. So we can continue to help people find their way back to God.

Isn’t She Lovely

Abbey has been sick all week but she is pumped full of so many antibiotics that she was ready for her birthday. I’m not a fan of massive parties for my children when they aren’t going to remember it. So we headed to our local Chuckie Cheese’s. I mean the  kids love it. We found a great coupon that allowed us to have a great birthday for 20 bucks. There was pizza, loud annoying games, Grammy, a mechanical singing mouse, and cheap prizes. What more could a kid want. We got there at 11 because we knew Abbey would need an afternoon nap and boy was I glad we chose that time. By the time we left there was a line out the door and onto the street. 

Abbey is the most precious child. She is, for the most part, agreeable and fun. She is sweet. She is so smart. She is absolutely the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. She is all girl. She wants to wear dresses and crowns all the time. She brings us so much joy. Her little voice can melt your heart. She always wants to cuddle. She is very sensitive and cries if she gets in trouble. She always asks Ethan to hold her hand when we are driving anywhere. We love her.

 

Thank You God

So yesturday I found out that over 800 Assistant Managers were going to lose their jobs at starbucks and they weren’t going to fill another 500 open positions. 

I was not one of those Assistant Managers. 

I still have a job. 

All thanks and praise to God. No words can express my gratitude.

Solo

Ethan loves music. The other day we were driving in the car listening to Kanye West “love lockdown.” He and Abbey kept asking us to play it over and over.  They both sing it which is funny because Abbey can’t really say “love lockdown”…its really cute. So Nate told me that after a while everyone stopped singing but Ethan. And he blurted out “I guess this is my solo.” Oh man, priceless.

Really?

My kids will cannot stay healthy. Since moving to KC they have had more sickness than they had ever had. 

Last night Nate took Ethan to the ER because after two days of coughing and fever he couldnt breathe. Literally. Turns out he has a bronchial infection or actute bronchitus. They sent him home with 3 perscriptions and a nebulizer. He is one sick boy…on top of that they checked for strep and he has it!! We took Abbey to the dr. for a follow up visit to her strep. Turns out she STILL has it. I might need to get a part time job just to pay for all of these visits and perscriptions. Its nuts. 

Thankfully Nate and I are still strong. If not, I would swear that this place we are living should be condemned. I can’t think of another reason why they would be so sick so much. And the dr.s can’t figure it out either. 

On a lighter note, American Idol is on tonight. Woo Hoo!